Well, this is going to be a relationship post. It's not so much for other people to read, but for myself. So here we go.

I finally found him. The boy I mentioned in my last post and I have hit it off--we are "together", Facebook official and all. And, to be honest, I'm ridiculously happy and terrified at the same time.

With Boy, I feel like I've found something different--a person who cares for me exactly the same as how I care for him. He's not dating me because he's bored. I'm not forcing something to happen that has no basis. He likes me. Me. Not someone I've pretended to be, not some persona that I put on to try to make him fall for me. Just plain old Stephanie. And for someone with a lot of insecurities, it is a balm for a sore heart that has been rejected ten times more than it has been accepted. He doesn't seem to care that I'm not 120 pounds, blonde, and gorgeous, like so many of the girls in Athens are. He thinks (or so he has told me) that I'm funny and sweet and cute, just the way I am. After years of looking, I've finally found what I've always been looking for, and to top it off, I can't help but smile when I think of him.

On the other side, now that I have him, I'm scared of losing him. I've never really had a relationship before, just a lot of dating--what if I do something wrong? What if, after everything, I somehow drive him away?